We're constantly trying to catch up five minutes here or half an hour there, and for what? So we can find more things to fill our time with that we don't really need to be doing. We feel a sense of begrudging ownership to so many aspects of the everyday and the ordinary.
Sometimes it takes an image or a situation to make us sit and really think about things.
One such situation occurred to me the other day at work as I scurried between rooms, trying to help out different people with very similar problems.
We've recently been told about a relocation from our current office dwelling to a more modern and functional domicile. It makes sense in a lot of respects as this building really has seen much better days. Every door seems to creak and sigh like an aged relative with too many bad habits. Each piece of carpet wears the impressions of a million tantrums and celebrations; every office mistake, every pitch that fell short, every problem that was solved or merely postponed.
In one of the more secluded rooms in the building there's something that I notice every time that I need to retreat there.
A dead butterfly.
It's been there for as long as I can remember that he/she has unknowingly shared in so many of my triumphs/downfalls.
The adventure that began with a simple message, the scolding that addressed my sometimes obvious lack of motivation and the first time I realised that I actually cared quite a lot about the people that I share this ancient space with.
This picture sums up everything I think about so many situations that occur. How close did we get to where we wanted to be before it was all taken away? How did we not realise that we'd done the hardest part?
Maybe we did.
Maybe the truth of the matter is that we didn't realise what we wanted, until we couldn't have it any more or until we'd lost the will to move forward.
This is all questions isn't it?
Even that was a question ironically and I didn't mean it to be.
One day we'll take stock of all of this and realise that our greatest victory came truly from pushing forward this entire time. The line may be on the next footstep or over the horizon but that's not really the most important thing. The important thing is that our feet never stop moving until the lights go out.